How cool would that be? Infinite bliss–heaven on earth, right? All good things in all ways throughout all time. I know that’s what I thought I was aspiring toward thirty some years ago when I was first introduced to the idea that I could create the experiences I wanted by focusing my mind to think the “right” thoughts.
And I was diligent. Dedicated. I wrote affirmations daily. I studied and researched the new age thought movement with passion. I visualized. I practiced care with the words I chose to speak. I even wrote my graduate thesis on how perception influences experience. I was a bona fide expert on the topic…but it didn’t stop my car (with me in it) from being rear-ended on an icy freeway that resulted in a head-on collision with a concrete wall the same week I submitted that thesis. All of those affirmations and all of that research didn’t stop me from developing a head injury and type 1 diabetes because of that car crash.
Still, that accident didn’t change my belief that–if I could alter circumstances with the power of my mind–I could live in a state of well-being and happiness that would create changeless perfection. Rather, my beliefs led me down a path of thinking I must have created the accident. That’s the other side of the logic in believing that I can create heaven on earth with my thoughts. And the belief that I created bad things happening to me while I was trying to create good things…well, that belief led me through years of attempting to figure out how to align myself with all good things even as I lived with sucky things (aka type 1 diabetes) and felt powerless to change them (aka type 1 diabetes.)
Not just health, though. I also wanted perfect relationships, too, so I wouldn’t feel disappointed or heartbroken. I wanted lots of money so I wouldn’t have to face the feeling of being deprived of any experience I might enjoy. Success in all things, of course. I mean–really–who ever wants to feel like they’ve failed…ever? No matter how many ways I attempted to realize my intentions toward “only good” experiences, I continued to have mixed results. And the feeling that–somehow–something in me kept me from fulfilling these desires.
What a relief it was to discover I was wrong. So wrong. I had it all backwards. Thinking that–if I could figure out the equation to make my day to day experiences be what I desired–then I could experience the fulfillment and satisfaction of changeless perfection. It’s just not how life works. Learning this was a huge relief for me, and so I offer it to you in hopes that it gives you respite as well.
Life is fueled by change. Change comes with the caveat of unpredictability. Unpredictability evokes the unknown and all of the feelings that accompany uncertainty. It is through experiencing the uncertainty of the unknown that we evolve. And that is what Life does. Infinitely. Endlessly.
I’ll tell you a secret, though. Changeless perfection–heaven on earth–does exist. Just not in the circumstances of life–our relationships, health, or financial means. It exists, rather, in our attitude towards the shit when it hits the fan. In the ability to embrace any experience–all experiences–with an attitude of faith that this experience, whatever it is, has value we step into the “space” of Grace.
I’m not saying this means you’ll enjoy the experience of dookie hitting your fan. Nope, it will still be a mess and create uncomfortable dynamics with which to deal. I’m not saying you should feel good about that at all. I’m saying: feel it fully. Go through whatever Life brings with the full spectrum of emotions–wholeheartedly. AND, at the same time, listen to the feeling. Instead of fighting the pain or distress, breathe into it. Soften into it and listen. Every feeling has a message from our Soul to guide us in our evolution.
When I began to do this with my health, I found within me a reservoir of love and compassion I had not been able to tap until I surrendered into the acceptance of what is. I listened, and this is what my Soul lovingly and compassionately taught me: Let the circumstances be what they are. Accept people as they present themselves. Make peace with anything and everything that seems unfair. Rather than attempting to manipulate events, use them as a bridge into understanding that changeless perfection is the Grace of welcoming and embracing Life however She shows up.
And here is where it gets really fun. When we do that, it’s all good, anyway. See how that is?
Thank you. I love you.